Comparison. I don’t know about you but, for me, there are very few times that this word ever comes up in a good way. Now, sometimes I do compare prices or brands, but in general, if this word sneaks up I am usually comparing myself. Why? Why do I feel the need to do that?
In life, it seems as if I will see another person being awesome at what they do and I begin to think, “I need to be like such-and-such.” I begin comparing how I do things to how they do things and I want to be like them.
Think about it, we even see this in young children. I don’t think our little ones do it intentionally like we do, but they definitely try to be like those around them. Sometimes it is a good thing. As they get older it can be a destructive thing. They should never try to build a foundation on how someone else acts. They should have the confidence and encouragement to be who God made them.
If you keep up with entertainment at all you will quickly notice that the industry feeds this mentality. They are constantly comparing this actress to this one. This dress to last season’s dress. This actors ability to this actors. And so on and so on, infinity. This industry is built on competition and comparison. That life is for the birds, let’s not embrace that mindset.
How many times have we looked at the life of someone around us and felt like we were not enough, but they were? How often do we compare our home to those on magazines or Pinterest? How often do we compare our children, marriage, weight, etc. to everyone else’s?
“Let’s begin to understand that our comparison is rooted in idealizing people rather than humanizing them.” That’s a quote from the book and when I read that it was like a lightbulb went off. She’s absolutely right.
I Am Enough
Comparison to another that we feel is doing better than we are says, “They sure are amazing.” In truth, they staged that perfect Instagram picture. Five minutes ago their toddler threw up. They lost it with their husband that morning. Their dog ran away the night before. In truth, they have struggles just like us we have simply idealized their life and diminished ours.
We are so quick to place others on a pedestal that we forget how great the life God has given us really is. We look around and find so many to compare to but God is saying, “Look at what you have.”
Do we ever stop to realize how much happy we give away because we get caught up in comparing our lives to another’s? What beauty are we overlooking, what moments are we not cherishing? Comparison is a cycle that does not end unless some of us say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH (paraphrased from pg. 221 of The Happiness Dare).
You are not enough as you are, but you are enough in Him. You are enough in the One who created you and calls you beautiful. You are enough in the One who loved you enough to die for you. You are enough in His full and complete love.
God never asked us to be “The Jones’” or to be “her” that person we compare ourselves to. He has only ever asked us to be ourselves. He wants to help us realize that really is enough.
The cycle can end with us. The cycle does not have to continue to our daughters, nieces, sisters, cousins, etc. We can be the end of the monster of comparative living. We simply have to change our mindsets. Well, I say simply, but it is far from simple. It will take intentional focus and even some cleaning out, but it can be done.
The first step to starting now is to identify who you constantly compare yourself to. Who is it you look at and say, “I wish I was her?” Every time that person comes up repeat to yourself, “I am enough and I was not made to be her.” This person is great, fabulous even, but my friend, you need to know SO ARE YOU.
If the enemy can get you to waste your unique abilities trying to be someone else, living in a constant state of comparison, he has robbed your gift from the world. Don’t give that sneaky mess the satisfaction. Be you! Embrace the messy desk that makes you happy. Embrace your unique style. Embrace who God created YOU to be, not who He created “her” to be.
Live the Lovely
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